Saying NO: A love-Hate Relationship.

 The Art Of Saying NO



In a world, which often glorifies multitasking and busy schedules, learning to say a NO can be taken as arrogance or rebellious in nature. But at times, saying a no is healthier than suffering from the consequences of been a self pleaser.


Saying a no can help us maintain a better mental, emotional and physical well being of ourselves. 


It is often said saying no is difficult but I feel it is a skill or a learning act for self care and self respect.


Situations can get overwhelming for some when we can’t say a NO. From which others naturally build an expectation of over delivery from us towards them every time and end up assuming our absolute availability for their work or needs. We might have offered ourselves unconditionally once or twice in the name of courtesy but at times it can become an unintentional habit.


We at work front or personal front usually forget to set healthy boundaries. This is usually taken as an act of selfishness. We think it’s our duty or moral obligation to do it for a loved one and in such scenarios we end up ignoring our discomfort multiple times.


Saying YES to everything was my default setting too!!

But that was taking a constant toll on me is what I realised.


I had to start learning to say a no to myself first before I said it to the world. I had to start learning to stop the constant inner inability of saying a no. I had to start respecting myself more, start taking care of myself more. I had to start to prioritise myself. I had to start to learn saying A NO to things which was unnecessary according to me, I started to learn to say a no to things which was affecting my physical health also, I started to learn to say a no to things which made me go out of my comfortable zone for others. 


I started creating a boundary which helped me maintain my physical, mental and emotional well being. Whenever anyone started to step into it, I start to learn to stand up for myself. It took me time but I reached the goal and I also started to accept people as they are when they said a no.


Saying a no came easier to me when I started to become friends with myself more. When I started valuing myself and my body more, the yeses to the world became unimportant to me and it felt lighter on my emotions. 

The definite inevitable consequences of saying a no were unpleasant glares, shrugs, anger, displeasure, distancing , breaking off, and above all a hope of my changing back to what I was, was very strong.


I started to create unretrievalable boundaries and eventually understood these aren’t walls, if the other person respects you, they start accepting you as you are. Thus making relationships more respectful and beautiful for long term. There is an Absolute security within your boundary.



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